Fit Or Misfit; The Importance Of Therapist/Client Compatibility

Do you realize that your relationship with your therapist may be the most important relationship in your life?

Your therapist will probably become the person with whom you will share your most intimate thoughts and feelings. Perhaps even more than with your spouse, children or friends. Your relationship with your therapist should become a blueprint for your present and future relationships. It will be the place where you feel safe to be yourself, to feel seen, heard, understood, and accepted non-judgmentally.

The most important aspect of therapy is empathy. If you do not feel empathy from your therapist, no technique, theory or intervention will be effective. Empathy is both a mental and physiological event. We are hard-wired through mirror neurons in the brain to respond positively when we share an empathic moment in psychotherapy. Pay attention to how you feel in your body in any relationship, especially the therapeutic relationship. It will tell you whether you are in the right place or not. Most important you should feel comfortable in the presence of your therapist or therapist-to-be.

Ask yourself what are your needs and expectations about therapy? For example, do you want to be listened to, or do you want a more interactive relationship with your therapist? Do you want to solve a current problem or are you interested in doing deep work to restructure your personality? Are you in it for the long term or do you want short term results?

You could spend countless time and money interviewing many therapists based on location or fee, and even waste time in therapy with the wrong therapist. Why not put as much care into finding a therapist as you would a romantic relationship? Remember, the therapy relationship may be the most important relationship in your life.

Dr. Rand can be reached at 310-937-0053, dr.m.rand@verizon.net, www.drrandbodymindtherapy.com